top of page
LYL logo.png

Lead Your Life
Getting to know the habits and addictions of your protectors

1 day online Deepening course with Ruud Baanders

July 15th



 UK time

Bossy woman.png
Habits and addictions.jpeg
Old habits - change.jpeg

Click here for booking

In the internal family of parts both managers and firefighters/distractors have positive intentions when choosing strategies in their aim to protect us from pain and suffering caused by internal overwhelm by exiles/vulnerable parts and/or by external threats.

Typically, managers choose strategies to meet needs for e.g. safety, order, wellbeing of which we most of the time are conscious of. The firefighters/distractors choose strategies, often at an unconscious level,  to meet needs for, distraction, relaxation, adventure. Both the manager’s and firefighter’s/distractor’s strategies can develop into a habitual behaviour the outcome of which can range from a beneficial impact to a very destructive impact on the balance of the internal system and our overall wellbeing.

It are especially the strategies used by the firefighter/distractors that can have a more destructive impact on our life and relationships, e.g addictions, eating disorders, isolation, self harm etc.


An awareness and understanding of our firefighters/distractors behaviours can provide us with more choice of strategies in protecting, expressing and healing our exiles/vulnerable parts. 
In the NVC practice this can bring a level of empathy into our life and into other people’s life, in our relationships, in groups etc. that has the potential to unstuck and transform habitual behaviours that don’t contribute to wellbeing and harmony of the person, the relationship, or the larger system.                                                                                                          

The aim of this course is to deepen our understanding of the role of firefighters/distractors in general, and of the role of the manager and the firefighters/distractors specifically with regard to habitual or addictive behaviours in protecting vulnerable young parts.

In this course we will explore:

  • Habits and addictions 

  • Habits and addictions in parts work and NVC

  • When protectors serve our wellbeing

  • When protectors don't serve our wellbeing

  • Understanding firefighter/distractors

  • Polarization between managers and firefighters / distractors and the role of the exile

  • How change and transformation is possible



  • Your choice to pay between £35- £75 

  • There are bursary places (contact me​)

Payment required upon booking.


Maximum number of participants is 18.
A prerequisite for participation is having attended my Lead Your Life Foundation course

"We are compassionate with ourselves when we are able to embrace all parts of ourselves and recognize the needs and values expressed by each part.”

Marshall Rosenberg

bottom of page